Come one, come all

And heed my call

I’m here to share

To show I care

And deliver to you

A manifesto

A proclamation

Of my intention

To lead our nation

From ruination

I’ve seen your needs

I’ve paid no heed

But bullshit

Is my specialist subject

Along with vaguely worded promises

Buzzwords I know appease the masses

And I know just how to come across

So you can’t tell I don’t give a toss

I’ll spin you stories

That are just allegory

Tell lie after lie

And when caught, deny

‘Cause I’m a politician

Not a fucking magician

I can’t fix the problems

No, we live in a system

That no-one can mend

Let alone pretend

So vote for me

And I guarantee

That every pledge I make

I’ll eventually break

 

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If politicians were honest