Twelve Months

There may be daysI fantasizeAbout you And I envy othersWhen I see themWith you But I'd be lyingIf I saidI miss you The best thing thatI ever didWas quit you I never thoughtI ever wouldResist youAnd it tookAll of my strengthTo do soBut everydayI make it throughWithout youI know the best thing thatI ever didWas [...]

Just One More

Just one more And I thinkI’d better make itMy last Just one more But this night’sPassed me bySo fast Just one more There’s nowhereThat I needTo be Just one more And I’mIn such fineCompany Just one more Then I swearI’ll be doneFor the night Just one more AnotherWon’t hurt…Right? Just one more How many timesHave [...]

Every Time I Close My Eyes

Every timeI close my eyesI see itA bright light shiningSo inviting Every timeI close my eyesI feel itEthereal handsOn my shouldersGuidingMe closer to the light Every timeI close my eyesI hear itThe constant chidingAnd deridingTelling me it's timeTo quit fightingNo point in surviving But then I think of youAnd it opens up my eyesAnd I [...]

Carnival of Absurdity

It’s a carnivalOf absurdityA festivalOf obscenityIt’s a circusOf perversityA celebrationOf insanityOn and onIn my headFor eternity I dared to peakInside the HouseOf MirrorsWhat greeted meMade me quicklyReconsider For staring backAt me wasNo reflectionBut the incarnationOf my everyImperfection I tried to smashThose windowsTo realityBut the only thingThat shatteredWas my sanity It’s a carnivalOf absurdityA festivalOf obscenityIt’s [...]

The End of Hope

DeadAre happy memories And hope is allBut gone Maggots feedUpon my sorrowAnd the knowledgeI'm alone Flies swarmAround the carcass That my empty heart’s Become They lay their eggsTheir larvae growThey make my soulTheir home And inThe dead of nightThe spiders hunting fliesDo come Leaving itchingSo much itching And the webs of liesThey've spun Then when day breaksAnd they depart I [...]

Waking Up On Mars

It feels like I'm waking up on Mars Silent Desolate Unfamiliar I am alone But free To explore To live Without rules Without boundaries Without judgement Just me And a barren endlessness I can call my own   I wrote this ages ago but never posted it. Didn't think it was good enough. But as [...]

Panic Attack

I went a little off track Hope it's nothing more Than a just minor setback Don't want to have to backtrack Track back Back along the beaten track Uncovering the old cracks Filling up my backpack With the stack of weights that I thought I'd left behind Don't make me go back Back where my [...]

Foreigner

There are days That I feel Like a foreigner In my own skin In my own head As though I don't belong And there lives Another being Much stronger Than I Controlling The thoughts And the voices Compelling me To leave   But what if I do? Where would I go? This mind And this [...]

The Day I Survived

I was certainly tempted By the offer presented It took all of my strength to refuse "Escape from the darkness And all of life's harshness" It seemed almost too good to be true   You were in quite a hurry To finish things early And get the deal over the line It was your desperation [...]