Trash Mag

You call it gloss

I call it dross

You call it news

But that word’s misused

It’s all gossip and hearsay

Rumours from yesterday

Fashion tips

Beauty tricks

Rules on surviving the high school cliques

Who’s a stud?

Who’s the dud?

What’s the latest bad blood?

Who got plastered?

Had a make-up disaster?

Who’s too old and getting put out to pasture?

So don’t lie now

It’s not highbrow

It’s a gutter-dwelling trash mag

More full of shit than a toilet rag

If you really wanna read it, fine by me

Just don’t try getting me to subscribe now

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